We’re coming up on the 28th anniversary of my high school graduation next month. It seems an eternity ago, yet also close and immediate. At that time, when making plans for college, I thought I was going to be an Applied Mathematical Sciences major at Texas A&M with a four-year Navy ROTC scholarship. I would serve in the Navy. I would get my advanced degrees. After 20-25 years, I would retire from military life and go into academia. I have wanted to teach at a college level since I was 17.

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” -John Lennon

Twenty-eight years later, and I realize Life had other plans for me. I lost my scholarship for health reasons. I dropped out of the Corps of Cadets for health reasons. I changed my major to psychology because I could barely pass freshman math. Eventually, I even failed out of Texas A&M for health reasons. I gave up for a long time. I thought I would never even finish my bachelor’s degree, let alone get a PhD and teach others. For nearly five years, I thought I would just be my mental illness and never amount to something more.

I got into substitute teach in 2005. I moved on to retail management in 2006. I thought it was the best I could do. In 2008, I went back to school to finish my BS in business management, since I thought that was where I was heading. I got out of retail management and into office management in 2009. I didn’t know what a mistake that would be until much later. I finished my BS in 2010. It was… a bit overwhelming. I tried to start my master’s and PhD in Industrial-Organization Psychology, still thinking business was the path for me.

Fast forward 11 years. That business management degree was worthless. Between no one wanting to hire someone with a University of Phoenix BS in management and my own anxieties and mental issues once I got a job, I hadn’t stayed anywhere more than about 10 months since I left the office management job to pursue other things. There were other reasons it was difficult to get and hold a job during that time. Those who know, know. IT doesn’t matter anymore.

Now, 28 years later, I’m back on track to achieve my goal of a PhD and being able to teach college students. Some people have speculated that I intend to remain in school as long as possible to avoid paying back student loans or “getting a real job.” I’m a licensed counselor seeing actual patients and getting paid better than I ever have in my life. I’m not sure how much more “real” a job could get. I’m going back to school because I have a passion for helping others. To me, teaching and counseling are not just about having a stable, steady career. Certainly, those things are appealing. But, ultimately, I want to help people in all the ways I could have been helped when I was younger. I want to give back.

Is it so wrong to be ambitious and caring? This is the endgame my dad tried to talk me out of. He wanted me to go to law school. I could have helped people that way, but it was not the way I wanted. Needed. Some people seem to see service to others as a means to an end. I see service to others as my obligation to humanity. I hate to toot my own horn, but we need more people who see service to others as an end unto itself.